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When people disappoint you
Published about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Let me tell you about one of the most quietly painful experiences a human being can have.
Expecting something from someone and not receiving it.
Not because they were a stranger. But because they were someone you trusted.
Someone you believed in. Someone you poured into, showed up for, gave the benefit of the doubt to — over and over again.
And then they did not show up for you.
Maybe it was a friend who disappeared when your season got hard.
A leader who did not protect you the way they should have. A family member who chose convenience over commitment. A colleague who took credit for what you built.
A person you loved who simply — without ceremony — let you down.
Disappointment from people we trust does not just hurt. It shakes things. It makes us question our judgment, our worth, and sometimes our willingness to ever trust again.
I want to speak to that today.
First — your disappointment is valid.
You do not have to spiritualize it away before you have felt it. You do not have to fast-forward to forgiveness before you have been honest about the wound.
Proverbs 13:12 says hope deferred makes the heart sick. That is not weakness — that is the honest cost of loving people with real expectations.
Feel it. Name it. Bring it to God without editing it first.
But here is what I also want you to hear:
Disappointed expectations are often the result of misplaced ones.
Not misplaced because you were naive. Misplaced because human beings — even good ones, even well-intentioned ones, even ones who genuinely love you — are limited.
They are broken in places you cannot always see. They are carrying things you do not always know about. And they will fail you. Not always because they chose to. But because they are human.
Psalm 118:8 says: “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.”
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That is not a call to cynicism. It is a call to right alignment. To stop requiring from people what only God can give — consistent, unconditional, unfailing presence and love.
When you hold people to a God-standard, you set yourself up for repeated disappointment. When you hold God to the standard He has already proven — faithful, ever-present, unchanging — and hold people to a human standard — imperfect but still valuable — something in your heart settles.
You can still love them. You can still invest in them. You can still hope for better from them.
But you stop being devastated when they fall short of a standard they were never designed to meet.
Here is your practical word today:
Identify the disappointment you are currently carrying. Then ask — was I expecting something from this person that only God can truly provide?
If yes — gently, without blame — realign that expectation. Give it back to God. Let the person be human. And let God be God.
You were made for relationship. Just make sure the most important one — the one that never disappoints — is the one you are anchoring to first.
With love and the compassion of someone who has been disappointed too, Dr. Jevonnah “Lady J” Ellison Founder, The Thrive Collective Thrive in Life and Business while Keeping God 1st
P.S. — Who do you need to release from an unfair expectation today? You do not have to share it with me. But I encourage you to name it to God. That naming is the beginning of your healing.
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